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Thursday, April 6, 2017

Lucky to be a (Wo)man (published in HELLO Alanya, July 2015)


Dear ones, it’s too warm this afternoon to have deep thoughts and compose them into a column. And besides that the TV in the background is distracting me with ongoing news about Greece and the referendum. Europeans certainly learned how to spell the word ‘no’ in Greek today.

As I was going through some old boxes and stuff the other day, trying to do some proper cleaning up, I came across a piece of paper from my Turkish language classes at Tömer from back in 2011 that really made me smile. So I am sharing it with you here, guessing you will read it with a smile too. We were supposed to learn the Genis Zaman (present tense) in Turkish so we got a copy of some sentences to practice with. And in days where everywhere in the world the concepts of gender and feminism are being subject to countless discussions in an attempt to redefine them, this little list shamelessly, carelessly and hilariously confirms all of the gaps and the clichés between men and women without probably even being aware of it. It sums up some of the advantages of being a man or woman, as perceived in this country. Needless to say that this list and its ‘gender-mender who cares?’ kind of attitude is a bit exaggerated and obviously meant as a joke. The text, of course, was in Turkish so I translated it into English here.

We are lucky to be men
-          We are charismatic!
-          It’s easy for us to open jars.
-          We can walk on the streets without a bag
-          On warm days we can take off our shirts
-          We only need a small bag for a 5 day holiday
-          Chips, coke, chocolate.. we can eat everything without having to worry
-          We can solve the problems with our girlfriend with one rose
-          We can have a conversation over the phone within 30 seconds
-          We can wear 2 pairs of shoes to 20 different occasions and no one will notice
-          We pay small prices at hairdressers
-          We can shave, shower, get dressed and leave the house within 10 minutes
-          The colours in our face are real and can’t be washed off with water.
-          We can walk alone on the streets at night

We are lucky to be women
-          We are beautiful!
-          We can make our own food.
-          We can extend our length with 10 cm by wearing high heels
-          We don’t have naked baby pictures in our albums
-          We can use make-up to cover up a pimple
-          We don’t snore!
-          We can easily find our socks
-          We can get into a club without a partner
-          Men say “Behind every successful man stands a woman”
-          We can easily remember the special dates in our life.
-          We can cry in the cinema and be comfortable about it.
-          We can color our hair in every color
-          And… we can be mothers.


To all you strong and charismatic beings from Mars and all you beautiful beings from Venus, who are always well behaved, even in your sleep: I hope you will enjoy your summer, meeting each other and hanging out together. And let me know if there is anything you would like to add to this fabulous list. 

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