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Thursday, April 6, 2017

OH BABY! (published in HELLO Alanya, october 2013)

At the point of writing this column, I am 38 weeks pregnant. Due date is in exactly 12 days. By the time it will be published I will most probably have given birth to our little baby and be a mom.
It’s my first pregnancy. The first question that posed itself was whether to give birth here or in Europe.  And I am so happy I opted for Turkey. Honestly. Why, you may ask? Because this whole experience has been a very positive one.
While other pregnant friends back in Amsterdam complain about how no one will get up for them in a crowded metro, offering a seat, I am enjoying  the pampering side of Turkish society when expecting a child. Being pushed around in public transport and tram drivers that close the door right in front of your face sadly is one daily frustration pregnant ladies have to live with over there. Meanwhile here me and my baby bump have been offered nothing but love and respect. It feels like I have VIP written all over my face. Everyone is eager to help wherever they can, trying to make me feel as comfortable as possible. Even at Starbucks I got the priority treatment, never having to stand in line anymore as they have a ‘pregnant ladies first’ rule.  Oh, and one more reason why a friend of mine here advised me to have the baby in Turkey: gold. ‘Yenge’ he said, ‘it’s much better if you get the baby here because then you will get lots of gold for the baby. In Europe they don’t have that tradition’. Haha good point, Mehmet, good point.
A happy mother makes a happy baby they say. And while it goes without saying that everyone loves babies, in Turkey they not only love them, they adore them. So it’s no surprise then that they will do everything protect them from the famous evil eye (nazar boncu
ğu). No doubt you have stumbled upon this blue and white eye everywhere you go since you first set foot in this country. No parent would leave the house without a little eye pinned to their baby’s clothes or pram. Being pregnant in Turkey gave me another unique perspective into the culture and especially into the superstitious rules and believes around pregnancy and babies. Every country has some of their own, but Turkey has a lot. Let me share some of those with you. For example a pregnant woman should be aware of what she looks at. It is said that she should look at nothing but pretty things in fear that the baby might otherwise take on the characteristics of the ugly or unpleasant object or person. Or, if you want the baby to have the good looks of someone you love, look at that person as much as you can or place a picture under the pillow. Looking at bears or monkeys brings bad luck. Since we have neither one living in Alanya and no Zoo to visit either, I think I’m on the safe side. Looking at the moon on the other hand or smelling the roses and eating apples, grapes and green plums will support a happy pregnancy.  An expecting woman should not attend a funeral and avoid walking around bare foot to prevent a miscarriage (and a lecture from her mother in law). Eating liver or red foods like strawberries and wiping of your hands on your body will result in a birthmark on the baby’s body. Also any particular food craving may result in a birthmark in the shape of that food. The girl at my hair salon told me her brother has a birthmark in the shape of a fish on his forehead because her mom ate a lot of fish during those nine months. Hmmm.. interesting. And once the baby is born, for extra safety measures against evil spirits, it is best to stay inside during the first forty days of the baby’s life. And to call him or her ugly (çirkin) so the bad spirits won’t make it so. If you can’t suppress shouting out a delightful ‘how sweet’ or ‘cute’, make sure you add maashallah for extra protection and to set the parents at rest. And the list goes on and on. And while many Turks might not really believe in these rules anymore, some of them have become a tradition and are being followed nevertheless. I don’t believe in (most of them) either but I mean you never really know, do you? 

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