Kiralik Bina (published in HELLO Alanya, May 2014)

That’s what it says on top of our restaurant in big bold red colored letters. Building for rent. After nearly two decades the well known Old Istanbul Restaurant has closed its doors for good. It still feels a bit unreal now that it’s so definite. The restaurant, our ‘living room’ in town is no more. It’s been our ‘Central Perk’ (remember the café where Ross and Rachel and all the others from Friends used to hang out?) for so many years. We have history in that place. It is where I met Bülent on my very first holiday in Alanya back in 2001. Where we partially grew up together during our twenties and where friendships have been sealed for a lifetime. We loved it and we lived it. Season after season. Not having it was unimaginable for many years. Until the time came where it just didn’t fit quite right anymore. Much like the house in Alice in Wonderland, where she keeps growing and growing and the house keeps getting smaller and smaller, to a point when her arms and legs stick out of all windows and doors. Clearly it was time to start something new.

This got me wondering about change. What is it about change that we long for it on one hand and dread it on the other? We need it and we fear it. We want it and yet we want to avoid it. Whatever it is that we are doing, there almost always comes a point when we realize that it’s time to change direction and try something new. And you ask yourself should I stay or should I go? What’s the plan? What are the risks? Questions and doubts. Tigers and bears.

Sooner or later change will come, regardless the situation we are in right now. Dreams change. Cities change. People change. Either by conscious decision or by the natural course of life. Because nothing lasts forever.. everything is subject to constant change, growth, redefinition. Even our own believes, opinions, preferences and convictions are in a constant state of flux. And change is always a bit painful. It implies growth and growing can be painful. But nothing is as painful as being stuck somewhere you don’t belong anymore. 

Think and move with your desires, respond to what’s pulling you

Letting go can be scary, mixed with sadness of loosing what has been and with excitement of what’s to come. Whether you are ending a relationship, leaving your country to move abroad or changing jobs. Sooner or later, change will come.. regardless of the situation or relationship we are in right now.