For those of you who read my
last column and wonder how I’ve been.. I became a mommy on October 9 to our
little baby boy. I’ve never been more in love, more amazed, more overwhelmed
and more tired than in the few weeks that have passed since his birthday.
It’s true
what they say, that life changes completely after having your first child.
Doing things like sitting down and writing a piece of text in one go has become
a bit of challenge now. I must admit that for the first time this year it took
me many days to complete this column. A few lines now and then, in between taking
care of my baby’s needs, spontaneous family visits, household, phone calls with
far away friends and family and taking quick power naps. And though I had other
subjects to discuss with you at first, there seems to be just no way around the
baby talk lately, so bare with me. I’m in the clouds still.. and only very
slowly landing back on reality land again.
These past
couple of weeks have been an interesting ride. Just a few hours after giving
birth to our baby boy, we were released from the hospital and sent home. So
there we were, freshly baked parents with a tiny little bundle of joy in our
arms and not so much of a clue of what to do next. I was wondering about things
like how I know if he’s getting enough milk? How can we tell if he’s too warm
or too cold? How long should one wait before bathing a baby? Questions on top
of questions. I wish I had a midwife like they have back in Holland. She comes
visit you regularly in the beginning to make sure the mom is recovering well
and things are taken care of. She will tell you how to wash and nurse your
baby, what to do with the umbilical cord and probably that there’s no need for
panic if your baby looks a little yellow at first. But we didn’t have one. And
apparently you don’t need one here either as was about to discover soon enough,
something the nurses and doctors at the hospital surely know as well. Because
here you have the one thing that is always, always
there for you and that every new mom can count on: family. Mothers, sisters, sisters
in law and aunties show up from nowhere as if called for duty. All of them
experienced and each an expert in her own field. I may not have had a midwife
for help but I found myself in the middle of wives helping me out in every way.
In the first days that followed I thankfully surrendered to this brigade of
women busying themselves with sharing the tasks at my home. My baby boy got
bathed and massaged. My fridge got stuffed with delicious foods that ‘make the
milk come in’. Visitors were served with çay and baklava and my laundry was
ironed. All I needed to do is watch and learn. And listen to countless pieces
of advice, some of them useful, others not so much. Remember how I told you
about superstitious believes in my previous column? That was only the tip of an
ice berg as I found out later on. Once my baby was there I’ve heard at least a
hundred more. Want to hear my own piece of advice to this? Take what feels
right and friendly nod and smile and say yes to the rest of it, deciding to
follow your own parenting instincts instead. For example someone telling you
not to take your baby outside after 5pm is a smile-and-silently-nod situation.
But the advice to eat lots of homemade sütlaç
and chocolate pudding for better milk on
the other hand I’m taking very serious. Maybe moms do know best after all.
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