Making the Move (published in HELLO Alanya, June 2013)

When it comes to dreaming about moving to Turkey there is two kind of people: those who would love to do it but don’t really dare to and those who just did it. For many years during my long distance relationship I was part of the first group. Partially it was about daring and partially about having one too many doubts whether moving to Alanya was actually a good idea. About two and a half years ago however I took the plunge and happily joined the ‘those who just did it’ team.

How did that happen you may ask. Well, I have been flirting with the idea of moving to Alanya for many years of course. When in a long distance relationship and you want to move in together you have exactly three options: here, there or somewhere else.  But neither of us felt ready to make the move and somewhere else was not an option. I enjoyed my life in Amsterdam and felt like I had some unfinished business in that city. I wasn’t ready to leave. But the years passed and with them a solid routine took its place in my life. Is this it, I asked myself. Was I really happy? I had (almost) all the right ingredients to be.. but somehow it didn’t feel so right anymore. Even though.. moving away and leaving this life behind me was a scary thought at first. Luckily I am a global nomad by nature and quickly enough fear turned into excitement. Living in Alanya and starting a new chapter in our lives together seemed more and more like the perfect plan. Dreaming turned into wishing which turned into planning which turned into action. Next thing I knew I quit my job, gave up my rent, packed my boxes and said my goodbye’s. To this day I haven’t regret my decision one single moment.

Looking back the decision seems much less of a big deal than when I still had it in front of me. So I get those who tell me they wish they could do the same but don’t really know how to do it. They want the change but don’t really want to give up on their old life either, no matter how unsatisfying it seems to be.

Why is it so scary to go after what feels good but so acceptable to stick to what doesn’t?

Maybe it helps to think of it this way: In 10, 20, 30 or more years from now there will come a time when we will look back on our life and all we have are our memories. Don’t miss out on making good ones. Spend time with your loved ones, travel sometimes and take a few chances (but not too many that you look like a fool). Maybe you need a big turnaround in life, but maybe a small adjustment will do to change your perspective. Focus on the positive. Create happy moments and leave the bad ones behind, they serve no purpose anymore. Stop worrying about where you’re going, take life as it comes. For some that means taking the opportunity to move abroad. For others it means signing a long term contract. Life isn’t black or white. We can be both reckless and stable in turns, as long as we follow our heart with it. For me personally starting a new chapter in my life requested to change my life all together and move to Turkey. Just so I could settle down again, but under different circumstances this time.