February - finding out and keeping it secret...

It's mid February. Valetine's Day. And I'm almost sure now that I'm pregnant.. my period is way overdue and I've been paying some attention to my body's signals. The morning hikes are getting tougher. The last time I went I only made it half way.. I got some light cramps in my belly and felt some dizzyness coming up so I asked Elif to sit down for a minute and catch my breath.
Hon, maybe you're pregnant? she suggested.
- You think so? I asked.

We decide to go get a test at the pharmacy the same day. We are flying to Istanbul in 2 days and I need to know before we're going.
The next day I wake up and the test is the first thing on my mind (they advise you to do these tests in the morning for more certainty)
I do it right away, B is half asleep still. There I am.. standing above the little white stick, staring at the two clear pink lines on it who become clearer and clearer. I knew it! OMG! I'm pregnant. I'M PREGNANT. We're gonna have a baby! There already is a little baby inside of me!!! We will be parents soon! We are so happy. And overwhelmed. What a sweet, sweet surprise.

The day after we found out, we are on a flight to Istanbul. We have the best of time there, enjoying the city, the food, shopping and everything. It's so nice be just the two of us.. well, actually three of us now.. away from daily life and work. Nobody knows our secret yet, so we have time to let it sink in and get used to the idea of becoming parents. I keep thinking: I'm Istanbul. And I'm pregnant. :)

Grey and chilly weather but our faces are shining

Though we shopped a lot in Istanbul we didn't buy any baby stuff yet. The only thing pregnancy related that I did buy is inside this cute little bag: 5 big panties from VS. Imagining myself becoming really big in a couple months, I decided that I should at least still look and feel pretty while all I could do was watching my bum growing to unpredictable proportions.

As soon as we're back we start looking for a doctor. I wonder how many weeks I'm pregnant already. And if everything is ok. I suddenly remember that I shared a bottle of great South Australian wine with Elif one night end of January. I'm a bit worried now, hope that it didn't hurt the baby in any way.

Finding a doctor is not so easy. We can't ask friends with children for advise without telling them and we don't want to tell anyone yet before we had a check up and then our parents first. I exclude all the ones who say they always do cesarean, not natural birth. The one I chose, Dr. Aysegul, at a private hospital is busy for a few weeks so we go with someone else.  The appointment is end of feruary.

I don't really know what to do now. I feel a bit left to myself. But I guess there is not much I can do anyway.. I trust my body. And the clever little baby who already knows better than me..starting this amazing journey without me even knowing about it.
One evening I just go online and check a website on pregnancy to see what's allowed and what isn't. I know about raw cheese and milk and stuff but I'm sure there's more. In fact, I find out, there's so much more... so much info, so many websites, so much advice.. it's overwhelming. I don't want to get all caught up like that.. let's see what the doctor says first.