Three Years (published in HELLO Alanya, december 2013)

I just realized that I’m having an anniversary this month. It’s been exactly three years since I moved to Alanya. Three years. Wow. I can’t believe how fast time has passed. It’s been a blast. And a challenge. And an adventure. And it’s been exactly those three years I’ve been talking about before I made the move. I told everyone back home that I was going to give it a go for three years. To find out if things will work. I had this theory back then, half based on my expat experience half based on a attempt to calm everyone down, maybe mostly myself. I wasn’t going to move there forever. As in never returning or never going anywhere else anymore. I was just going to give it a try for at least three years. A fair amount of time to find out if I can really live there. You know.. the settling down with your man and having a real home, a social life and a proper job kind of thing.

My theory goes that it takes usually three years to settle into a new culture before you know if you have a future there. The first year is all about joyful discoveries. Everything is still new and exciting. People applaud to your braveness of moving abroad and forgive you for your limited knowledge and language. It’s refreshing to feel like you can redefine yourself and start all over again on a new, crispy white page in your life. And you find comfort and confidence in the knowledge that you took the plunge and managed to survive without getting your spirit or your heart broken. Or your leg for that matter. You did something wildly courageous in your life and you were capable to land softly at least once.

The second year things might start to taste a little bitter. Not necessarily, but usually. You come to the conclusion that it is much harder than you expected. Reality is catching up with you and constantly feeling like a stranger is wearing you out. Finding real friends is not that easy after all, you can’t get used to this crazy sticky heat and the traffic is driving you insane. You’re tired of speaking in broken languages. And oh my god do you miss your friends and family. Skype can merely make up for it. Besides, you’re no longer ‘new’ here. So this is the time to build something up. Something real. Like a job that keeps you going. Investigating and investing in your possibilities and in your potential future is vital at this point. The pressure is on. If you haven’t given up yet that is.

Looking back now I’d like to tell you that things do get better, sunnier, lighter again down that same road. If only you manage to stick around for the ride. The third year you know if you did the right thing or not. You feel either at home or totally out of place. So this is the time to evaluate a bit. And to make up your mind for future plans. Doing so I can conclude that moving to Alanya has been a truly great decision of mine. Do I feel at home? Yes. Yes completely. I have a real home here including family and a very comfy sofa. Social life? Thank god yes. A proper job? A constant work in progress. Other than that, all settled. Down to owning my little blue book, driving like a loca(l) and using my customer card at Metro. I even can’t help to add yani to every other language I speak.

So here is to my glorious three year anniversary of living in Alanya. To conquering all the differences. To surviving all of the confusion and overcoming all miscommunications. And to no regrets. No regrets at all. It’s been truly awesome. On to the next three years, and maybe even many more. I have no theory for the coming time. So it will be a ‘que sera sera’ kind of thing. I found my home here. My haven. My own. Everything else I leave to kismet.